I am having an awful time with my feeds being stolen and used at shady Adsense sites, as is all of b5media I think, so am going to test out this feed plugin, Better Feed, here before I go begging the guys to do something.

On a cool note, Glam.com asked me to write a weekly beauty column for them, and of course I said yes. First column out on Friday and we are gonna be talking - take a wild guess - sunscreen. My favorite topic.

Also, something to hang on to for future reference is Suzanne Falter-Barns’ article on communicating with your fellow bloggers. That is something just about all of us at b5 can improve upon. Suzanne does just about what I do, when I do it, of course, but hers will be a useful article to have my hot little hands on. Good stuff, thanks a bunch, Suzanne!

Oh man have I been laughing my butt off tonight. I don’t think Marshall will laugh too much, but boy(!) will every married woman I know. Ha! Check out True Wife Confesssions - found via Mary Tsao at Blogher. Honestly, I don’t think I am really the Blogher type woman so much (hearmeroar), but I always read and have really found some interesting things on there today - thanks again Mary for pointing that out!

Try these on for size:

Confession #029

After 10 years of being together, I still hope that you will learn how to make me orgasm one day.

Confession #016

Yes, I washed the chicken. I have been rinsing the chicken for 15 years. You do not have to ask me EVERY TIME if I have washed the god damn chicken. If my plan were to give you salmonella, it would have happened a long time ago.

Confession #003

Your electronic organizer? The one you loved in 1998? Yeah. That didn’t fall out of your car and get run over by your tire. I washed and dried it in the laundry , then tried to get you to think you’d done it by wedging it under your tire, in the rain.

This is killing me. I can happily say that none of these are my confessions - but go read the rest - I know you will identify with some of them.

I can’t seem to get motivated to write about Brad Pitt or Beauty or MRSA today to save my life, but my opinions about other things are flying around madly today. I watched as much as I could stand most of the Britney Spears interview on Dateline NBC tonight, and that girl just brings up so many different feelings in me, I just don’t know what to say. But I will think of something.

On one hand I feel really sorry for her - where is her stylist? Her mother? Her husband? My husband brought up a really valid point - if we were Britney and KFed (thank God for small favors), he would be one of those Russell Crowe paparazzi bashers. Marshall would not let paps around me and our baby. He would drive himself bonkers to be a man and keep that crap as far away from us as he could. And my mother would a.) be there helping me juggle my drink and my cigarette and my baby, b.) would have taught me NOT to chew gum on an interview on national television, c.) made damn sure my baby was safely tucked in his car seat at all times and d.) been all over the media telling them to go to hell and quit picking on her baby. And her grandbaby. And a whole lot more stuff too.

It pains me to watch Britney going through all of this, it really does. I think she is a doll, but at some point you have to take responsibility for your own stupidity actions. Is she at that point yet? I don’t know. For now I will just keep her in my prayers and hope she gets through this rough spot with some dignity. And please, for goodness sakes, a new stylist.

I am feeling the love from my friends and bosses at b5media today, no doubt. Duncan and Jeremy both put me in their top 10 list of people they would like to be stranded on a deserted island with - and that is touching. Really. And Jeremy even called me a sweetheart in the Beyonce vs b5 podcast. Wow!! I am glad I didnt make the list of their top 10 people they wished were stranded on a deserted island!! I still can’t believe how nervous I originally was to come to b5. I love it here and I love these guys and gals tremendously!!

So if anyone was wondering who my stranded buddies would be, here they are:

If I were stranded I would wish to be with Marshall cause I can’t imagine life without him in it, Hsien so I would have someone to bitch to (cause I know I would have a need to bitch!), Duncan, cause he would come up with some outrageously grand idea to get us back to civilization, and Jeremy, who would find a way to make Duncan’s nutty plan come to life. Aaron would keep me on my toes and keep me from being bored and I would take Suzzann, cause she is my dearest friend and it just wouldn’t be right not to have her stranded with me. Or I am afraid she would haunt me if I didn’t. I would take Mary Jo, cause she is tons of fun, and hmmm…Brad Pitt. Because he is Brad Pitt, and we girls are gonna get bored.

Lets see - who would I wish were stranded - well there is her, and her, and him and maybe him too - and now that the day has gone by, there is one more him - yeah, there are a few people. Do you know who you are? Heh. You should. I am far too polite to name them out loud.

Seems like I have run into a mighty lot of those lately (sorry, giving no links…LOL), so I thought I would see where I landed on the scale. I answered these questions brutally honestly.

You Are 24% Sociopath

From time to time, you may be a bit troubled and a bit too charming for your own good. It’s likely that you’re not a sociopath… just quite smart and a bit out of the mainstream!

I meant to keep this for posterity too, but just got it dug out of my chat logs. This is just a teensy snippet of the conversation between my friend Aaron and I on Mothers Day. Aaron has a unique way of saying things sometimes, but this one was particularly offensive funny, mostly because I am almost positive he was being sincere:

Aaron:
happy mothers day by the way
Aaron:
anyone who is as old as you and is a woman, must be a mom too

I have heard this first one before, but it will bear another look:

One morning a husband returns to his lake cabin after several hours
of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the
lake, his wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short
distance, anchors, and reads her book, enjoying the peace and quiet.

Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the
woman and says, “Good morning Ma’am. What are you doing?”
“Reading a book,” she replies, (thinking, “Isn’t that obvious?”)

“You’re in a restricted fishing area,” he informs her.
“I’m sorry officer, but I’m not fishing, I’m reading.”

“Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start  at
any moment. I’ll have to take you in and write you up.”

“If you do that, I’ll have to charge you with sexual assault,” says  the
woman.

“But I haven’t even touched you,” says the game warden.

“That’s true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you  could
start at any moment.”

“Have a nice day ma’am,” and he left

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads; it is likely she can also
think.

And one more, from Selina, that is a hoot:

The Good-bye Letter

A father passing by his son’s bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was
nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped
up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, “Dad.” With the worst
premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling
hands.

“Dear Dad, It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to
elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and
you. I’ve been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I
knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercing’s, tattoos,
her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am.
But it’s not only t! he passion… Dad she’s pregnant. Stacy said that we
will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of
firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more
children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the
fact that marijuana doesn’t, really hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it for
ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the commune, for all the
cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will
find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!! Don’t
worry Dad, I’m 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I’m sure
we’ll be back to visit, so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love, your son, John.

PS.  Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Tommy’s house. I just
wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report
card that’s in my center desk drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for
me to come home.

Interesting article from the Uganda Monitor about Metrosexual men:

David Beckham, the man who has been credited with changing male behaviour, has been deemed the world’s ultimate metrosexual. Beckham may be married with kids, and a role model to so many in the football field but he sees it befitting to wear sarongs (a garment of Asian origin consisting of a length of printed cloth wrapped around the waist.), and nail polish.

He has even been rumoured to share undies with his wife, former Spice Girl, Victoria. In his autobiography, David Beckham My World the English Midfielder is quoted saying he has never been homophobic and he is not the kind of man who will go out and drink beer just to be a man. He is a fashion fanatic and boasts of a dressing room tidier than Victoria’s.

He cooks and doesn’t believe in a wife that does all the housework for him. He says that in his marriage, they both ‘wear the trousers’.

I have pretty much heard that Ms. Posh (Victoria) Beckham wears the pants around their house, but whatever works for them. As for me, I am pretty satisfied with the way things are around here. I tried the pants wearing thing while I was a single mother, and I much prefer Marshall wearing the pants. Those of you who know Marshall, can you imagine him wearing a printed cloth sarong and nail polish? Ha. I didn’t think so. I don’t even want to think about the underwear thing.

Photo credit

I hadnt seen this haircut before, I think I am going to reshape mine - too cute:

via JJB

hair care products Hair products and prices in Australia

Oh how I hate it!  I had a mild case last Monday, after babysitting my girlfriends sons the weekend prior, who had had it a few days prior to that.  I thought I had escaped pretty easily, but I was mistaken.  My son had it on Wednesday, the first day back to school (not for him!).  My daughter had it on Friday.  I woke up yesterday feeling like hell in a bucket, and slept most of the day long.  Oh and tried to take care of a few required work things at b5 and wurk.net.  Mostly I just caused problems for myself and my friends.  Ha ha.  That’s what I get for trying to keep up when I am really sick as a dog and need to stay in bed and away from hu-mans.  But, I feel much better today, and along with straightening up the screwups I made yesterday and catching up on my blogging (and drinking lots of water to make up for the fluid loss!), I have to catch up on housekeeping.  It is amazing how much destruction happens when I am not on top of things every minute of every day.  I think the dogs had a big party here while I was sleeping.  Pity they can’t clean up after themselves!